There’s just something about a free or very inexpensive book that I find difficult to resist. When Francis Chan’s two books were offered for free Kindle download, I took advantage of the deal. I had read Crazy Love early on and although Chan is quite different theologically than me I got some good nuggets out of it. I hoped that the next two would be the same.

Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit tackles the complicated existence of the Holy Spirit. Chan begins with the assertion that Christians in the American church have left the Holy Spirit out of the process. Of course, I’m sure Chan has not visited every church in the USA, but he still feels confident in make assessments about their vitality. Then Chan delves into Scripture to prove his assertions about the existence of the Holy Spirit and the way the Holy Spirit works. Immediately I had issues. Chan states that the Holy Spirit is a male person that inhibits our bodies once we invite “him” in. I struggled throughout the book for a variety of reasons, but the essential nugget is that we do not engage the Holy Spirit as fully as we should and that our lives and churches would be more vital if we did so. I had actually been focusing on this for Lent and was able to pull out what I think the Holy Spirit was telling me through this work.

Erasing Hell: What God Said about Eternity, and the Things We’ve Made Up was even more of a struggle for me. Chan’s writing is erratic and frantic and the entire work seems forced. In the introduction, he presents the idea that he was open to whatever he learned during this study of what God says about hell and hoped in fact to find out it doesn’t exist. The results do not reflect this assertion. He drew conclusions that I did not feel were logical in many cases. He claims that Scripture is inspired by God and has all authority, but does not hesitate to bring in other sources when what Jesus is attributed as saying does not prove his point strongly enough. He reacts so strongly to Rob Bell’s work Love Wins that it is a distraction. I’m still struggling with the emotions that this work stirred in me. I understand the fear that I and/or people I love may spend eternity in hell. However, I feel so strongly that God is all powerful and capable that I do not think God is bound by anything written in Scripture. This may be where I differ most from Chan. God is God. The Bible is not God. God can do whatever God wants and however God wants. I trust God and put my trust in God. My biggest issue with preachers like Chan (aside from his extreme arrogance) is that my experience is that if we really want people to come to know and love God we will love them where they are, how they are. We will not use hell to scare them to God. Even though Chan claims to struggle with the same practice, he then turns around and uses it in his writing.

When my son saw that I had these two books on my Kindle, he expressed great frustration with me. I understand that by reading these works I may appear to be validating Chan’s ideas. But I strive to remain open as possible to ideas that differ from my own. I think that only through education and exposure can I really claim what I believe. However, the next few churchy books will not be these types. I long to delve in writing that brings me comfort for awhile.

One of the Scriptures that always speaks to me is Matthew 25:31-46. In this passage, it is said that at the appointed time God/Jesus will sit upon the throne and sort people based on how they treated “the least of these” or as The Message says “someone overlooked or ignored.” I think this passage strikes me because it is so counter intuitive based on what the American way teaches. Instead of relying on everyone to “pull themselves up by their bootstraps,” we are instructed to nourish, house, clothe and visit those who society overlooks and ignores. Annie Vocature Bullock discusses this very issue in her book Real Austin: The Homeless and the Image of God.  When writing this book, Annie reflects on her family’s decision to live in an area of town where Austin Weird is personafied. Part of that decision dictates that the family uses public transportation. It’s during these travels on the town bus system that Annie is confronted with the reality of the homeless. Idealogically she desires a relationship with the people that she encounters, but reality causes her to fear them and her own reaction to them. Annie reflects on her spiritual growth as a Christian that has led her to this place and the challenge of living out her faith amongst the “least of these.” Her struggle is honest and specific. She realizes that her childhood experiences make this struggle even more difficult. Having lived with a loved one who has a mental illness, she understands the erratic life that is a result. As I usually do with these types of books, I found myself longing for more of her personal e

After two months of reading churchy stuff and some memoirs that were very difficult, I was so relieved to find a cozy up next on my kindle list. It is the second in the Lacy Steele series by Vanessa Gray Bartal. I had already read her first book, Morning Cup of Murder, as well as the Christmas novella, Christmas Steele. Her main character is Lacy Steele, a young woman who has returned home to her small town to rebuild her life after her fiance dumped her for her younger sister, Riley. In the initial volume, Steele inherits a great sum of money from a surprising relative. Building Blocks of Murder establishes that Lacy will be staying in her small town to help reclaim the failing downtown area. Lacy continues her complicated relationships with two men in town, a cop and a preacher. Although this series is formulaic in some aspects, the mysteries are well developed and keep the reader engaged until the end.

The next volume Family Case of Murder takes Lacy out of town to finally deal with her sister and ex. This age old technique is often disappointing since the reader has connected with the characters of the first several books and now has to start all over with new characters. However, Bartal uses this time to develop one of the romantic relationships. That romance is compelling enough to overcome all of the ridiculous characters. Her sister is introduced as such a unappealing character I found myself wondering how their relationship will ever be salvaged.

Riley moves home in the next book in this series Arch Enemy of Murder. Lacy is busy with her new career saving the town and tries her best to avoid her troublesome sibling. Also keeping her occupied is her struggle to maintain a relationship with two men at the same time. They are both losing their patience and want her to choose. The mystery forces her hand and she finally chooses just as she may have lost the one she picks.

The final book Class Reunion of Murder resolves many of Lacy’s issues. She finds true love, as do other characters in this series. She once again solves the mystery through a series of miss steps and mistakes. The characters throughout are well developed and as engaging as the plots. Bartal sets up the next volume in the final chapters of this book and I look forward to reading it when it comes out.

The third book in Dave Pelzer’s trilogy A Man Named David continues the saga of how childhood abuse impacts his life. After a short sample of the abuse he endured as a child, Pelzer begins this book with his early career in the Air Force. Nothing really comes easy for him and he faces failure and disappointment at every term. Once again, he demonstrates the ability to get back up and try again after running into obstacles. His endurance proves to be the key as he battles his poor education and social skills to achieve his goal – serving on a flight crew. The next challenge was to find true love. Content with his career, romance finds Pelzer even though he tried to avoid it. Scars from his childhood contribute to his inability to trust and not even the birth of his son can hold the relationship together. As Pelzer begins to speak about his childhood, a wedge is driven into his marriage and they eventually split up. Determined to break the cycle of abuse, he develops a wonderful, loving, safe relationship with his son. Love once again finds him as his writing career takes off and the book ends with the promise of “happily ever after.” A quick internet search shows that this was not to be as this marriage also ends in divorce. Maybe true love and happiness is just too much for this man to expect. His mere survival was a miracle and his healthy relationship with his son was quite an accomplishment. Many people who grow up in relatively “normal” families do not find eternal married success, much less a satisfying career. Pelzer shows that fairy tales don’t exist in real life, but he has written a very satisfying story with his life and has impacted the lives of others in a positive way.

One of my favorite places in the world is a book store – usually Barnes and Noble. I often will visit just to soak up the feel and smell of books. It’s good for my soul. Often I’ll see books that peak my interest, but I will go months or years without actually purchasing them. One such series is the one by Dave Pelzer about his abusive childhood and the struggle to overcome the abuse.

The Child Called It is the first of the trilogy. Pelzer chronicles his life from 4 – 12 years old. The abuse that he reports is extensive and graphic and I must admit that I found myself scrolling through the worst of it with barely a scan. It was just too difficult to read the details. The idea that a child can be abused this horribly and survive to be a functioning member of society is a testament to the power of resiliency and perseverance. People have questioned if Pelzer’s recollections are accurate, but even if only a fraction of it is true, it’s still horrific. The first book ends with Pelzer finally being rescued by the teachers and other employees at his elementary school. After almost a year of concern and documentation, they finally contacted the authorities about his abuse. It is difficult to remember that there was once a time in our society where such abuse could occur without any legal recourse for intervention.

Pelzer’s second book The Lost Boy chronicles the years after he left his parents’ home until he turned eighteen. The underfunded and understaffed foster care system is featured in this book. As Pelzer details the struggles of making his way in new homes and new schools, he highlights the many adults who have devoted their lives to helping children just like him. He realizes that the foster care system doesn’t get the respect it deserves and acknowledges that it saved his life. Pelzer displays a single minded desire to survive that was instrumental in him ultimately being accepted in the U. S. Air Force after his eighteenth birthday.

In my twitter travels, I follow a wide variety of authors. Due to this fact, I often stumble upon other authors. The next two books that I read I discovered just this way. The first book,The Squirrel That Dreamt of Madness by Craig Stone, delves into the mysterious world of homelessness. Written in first person, Stone’s main character leaves behind the drudgery of the cubicle work environment to live in a local park. He feels like he can be free if he doesn’t have the constraints of conventional living. His family thought he had gone mad and the contents of his mind show that they’re not far from being right. Stone weaves a diverse set of characters and situations into an ultimately charming story. I wasn’t sure I would enjoy this book early along, but was so glad I stuck with it. The twists and turns in the end of the book were so much fun.
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Early in my twitter experience I started following Rebecca Skloot. When she published The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, I was intrigued by the idea of someone writing a novel about the back story of biological cells. I could not imagine ever reading such a work as science is not something that I find enjoyable. As Skloots work began to attract attention from the mainstream media, I was pleased for one of my twitter connections to be receiving such attention. But I still had no interest in reading it myself. It wasn’t until one of my friends read it and shared her pleasure with the novel that I finally purchased it on my kindle. Another year passed before I decided to tackle the almost 400 pound book. What a surprise to find such a great story of the human struggle to connect with our history. Skloot immersed herself into the lives of Lacks’s family as she tried to capture the woman who’s cells would live on to provide scientists cells to experiment with. These experiments provided much of our current medical vaccines and treatments. But the essential element of this work is the story of the family who lost their mother/wive/cousin too early. This is not what I would call a beach read. The scientific details are fascinating and provide volumes of historical information. However, much of it is so dense that it was difficult for me to comprehend. I am glad that I finally chose to tackle this work .

As I prepared for Lent this year, I read two books by Tony Jones on prayer. The first book, Divine Intervention:Encountering God Through the Ancient Practice of Lectio Divina, tackles a specific type of prayer. This ancient practice of praying scripture has fascinated me for a few years and I’ve tried it at different times. The biggest challenge for me is the need to slow down and listen for God. Jones provides a variety of examples and exercises to help the reader along the path of Lectio Divina. The last 10% provides detailed step by step opportunities to practice this way of connecting with God.

The second book, Ask, Seek, Knock: Prayers to Change Your LIfe, again provides specific examples of prayer and guides the reader through ways to pray. This short book prompts the readers to practice prayer and build prayer into their everyday lives. I think I would refer to this book more if I had not purchased it on Kindle. Many of the interactive books that I have been able to obtain free or very inexpensively prove to be difficult to use to their greatest extent due to the navigation issues of the e-book format.

Both of these books are good guides for practicing prayer. Jones does a very good job of connecting the reader with both the need to prayer, as well as the practical means of praying.

You know how sometimes you see a trailer for a movie and think it’s going to be really funny, then you go to the movie and realize that all of the funny parts were in the trailer? Or they reveal the entire plot line in the trailer and there’s nothing new in the 2 1/2 hours you sit through? Well, Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs is a lot like that. I had seen this book with the boy wearing a box on his head for several years in the book store. The back of the book tells about how a woman gives her son away to be raised by an eccentric Psychiatrist. That’s pretty much the best part of the saga. Burroughs’ memoir tells his childhood story in a manner that is graphic and raw. There is little joy to be found in this book and very little good to be found. Even the Psychiatrist is just a fringe character passing through Burroughs life in bits and pieces. I ached for the young boy who was left to struggle through life and was let down at every turn by the adults in his life. I find it almost unbelievable that all of these events could have occurred without any intervention by the authorities. Although our society seems to cry from all of the regulation that is imposed on us by the government, this story is a vivid example of what happens when people are allowed to live out their addictions and disfunctions totally unchecked. I hope that Burroughs found some type of joy through writing this memoir and maturing into adulthood.

One thing that I’ve discovered recenty is that my neurosis shows up in strange ways. I have a difficult time leaving things uncompleted. About a year ago I discovered a site that gave away murder mysteries for the kindle each week. I downloaded several free books that sounded good. I read three of these books and found a common denominator. They were outside of my normal reading pattern – they were mysteries, but they were written by men and were much more explicit in violence and matters of relationships. I’m not sure if it is because they were written by men, or if they were first novels, or just not my style, but I struggled to read all three of them.

The first one was Committed by John Mefford. Set in west Texas, the main character is dealing with a business takeover when he stumbles upon a dead body during a rain storm. The characters were confusing and I had a difficult time following the plot. The scenes between the main character and his live in girlfriend were often so awkward that I skipped through them. The book resolved nicely, but I was more relieved that it was over than pleased.

Provincetown Follies by Randall Peffer takes place in a coastal New England community. Peffer does a better job with character development, but the time and location transitions were confusing and unsettling. The two main characters, a lawyer and his transgendered client, are very likeable and I was rooting for their success. The ending was not very satisfying, but again I was glad to be finished.

Finally, I started Beholder by David Bishop expecting much of the same type of writing and was please to see that the main character was a female police detective. Set in Arizona, I was engaged in this book from the beginning. I struggled to determine who the killer was up until the very end, which is always the sign of a good mystery. The blood and gore was extensive, but the romantic relationships were more subtle. I think of the three books, Bishop is the only author that I would choose to read again.

All of that says more about me than the books themselves. I wish I was able to begin a book and upon finding out it wasn’t my style put it down and go on with my life. However, I know that it’s just not in my nature at this time. This issue is slowing down my reading for now. I have figured out that I should not download books just because they’re free or really cheap unless I feel very positive about the writing genre. I need to stick with cozies, memoirs and spiritual growth books as I move forward.

As I’ve often said, God leads me to books at certain times and I may purchase a book and not read it until much later. Last year I was twittering around and read an article about one of the Kardashians and the church she attended. Being the curious one, I google that church name and read about their beliefs and the preacher. I was intrigued to learn that he had written a book about forgiveness –The Four Laws of Forgiveness: How to Forgive Yourself and Others by Rev. Brad Johnson I downloaded that book and there it sat on my Kindle for the next year. When I undertook my; experiment to read all of the books on my Kindle in the general order that I had download them, this book showed up in late January of this year. As the anniversary of my brother’s death approached, I was dealing with my own need for forgiveness and my need to forgive. This book helped me further understand the healing power of forgiveness. Johnson used stories of his own life as examples, which I found made it personal and engaging.

Another twitter find of mine is a pastor named Peter Wilson from a young, growing church in Nashville – Cross Point. Although Wilson comes from a church background that is usually off putting for me, he uses language that I find very comforting. Plan B: What Do You Do When God Doesn’t Show Up the Way You Thought He Would? is helpful for anyone going through a life transition, Wilson provides insight into Scriptural examples of Plan B situations and God’s presence during those difficult and confusing times. I completed this book on the one year anniversary of my brother’s death, which was very timely. Wilson balances scripture and real life experiences to show how tragedy and disappointment can be used by God as a time of growth. I think this book would be a great one for small group studies. Wilson and his publisher, Thomas Nelson, have developed a dvd series, along with participant guides for that exact purpose.