One thing that I’ve discovered recenty is that my neurosis shows up in strange ways. I have a difficult time leaving things uncompleted. About a year ago I discovered a site that gave away murder mysteries for the kindle each week. I downloaded several free books that sounded good. I read three of these books and found a common denominator. They were outside of my normal reading pattern – they were mysteries, but they were written by men and were much more explicit in violence and matters of relationships. I’m not sure if it is because they were written by men, or if they were first novels, or just not my style, but I struggled to read all three of them.

The first one was Committed by John Mefford. Set in west Texas, the main character is dealing with a business takeover when he stumbles upon a dead body during a rain storm. The characters were confusing and I had a difficult time following the plot. The scenes between the main character and his live in girlfriend were often so awkward that I skipped through them. The book resolved nicely, but I was more relieved that it was over than pleased.

Provincetown Follies by Randall Peffer takes place in a coastal New England community. Peffer does a better job with character development, but the time and location transitions were confusing and unsettling. The two main characters, a lawyer and his transgendered client, are very likeable and I was rooting for their success. The ending was not very satisfying, but again I was glad to be finished.

Finally, I started Beholder by David Bishop expecting much of the same type of writing and was please to see that the main character was a female police detective. Set in Arizona, I was engaged in this book from the beginning. I struggled to determine who the killer was up until the very end, which is always the sign of a good mystery. The blood and gore was extensive, but the romantic relationships were more subtle. I think of the three books, Bishop is the only author that I would choose to read again.

All of that says more about me than the books themselves. I wish I was able to begin a book and upon finding out it wasn’t my style put it down and go on with my life. However, I know that it’s just not in my nature at this time. This issue is slowing down my reading for now. I have figured out that I should not download books just because they’re free or really cheap unless I feel very positive about the writing genre. I need to stick with cozies, memoirs and spiritual growth books as I move forward.