We seem to spend a lot of our time waiting – waiting for the next big event, waiting to get thinner, waiting to have more money or fewer bills. People will tell you that you need to live in the moment and not to live always waiting for a better or different time. In a world of instant gratification, we no have less patience for waiting. We send a text and expect an immediate reply. We make a bank deposit and expect immediate access to the funds. We get hungry and expect our food to be instantly ready. Although we’re always waiting, we no longer know how to handle it gracefully. Sue Monk Kidd writes about a time in her life when she knew there was a transformation taking place, but she had to wait and experience it in it’s own time. When the Heart Waits is an intense depiction of this time.

Over the last few years I have been going through a time of transformation myself. This book appealed to me due to the idea of a heart waiting. It was recommended to me by a friend who knew what I was experiencing. As is often the case, I did not read it right away. It wasn’t until a group at our church began to meet on a monthly basis for a book group that I finally chose to read it. Once again, I found myself reading the book club book during a time of crisis for my family. My father had been admitted to CCU for a serious case of meningitis. Not the very best time to read a book about depression. I had read Monk Kidd’s novels and had devoured them quickly. However, this would not be the case with When the Heart Waits. This was a much more difficult read. She touched on life experiences, theological challenges and her own struggles. Although much of the book was beautifully written, it was a great challenge to complete. I must admit that I completed it with much relief. Although there were many great passages, it was difficult to process.

The main thing I got out of the reading is that it’s ok to wait, but it’s also important to not spend your time always waiting. Give yourself permission to be in that moment, but also challenge yourself to look towards the future as well. I’m still waiting. Waiting for my Dad to be healed, waiting for my son to graduate college and get married, waiting to know how God is going to use me in the future. I look forward to all of these things and hope that I am able to experience more of life as the days pass. To use Monk Kidd’s image – I hope that the butterfly that I know I hold inside will emerge from the cocoon soon.