very morning pictures and posts pop up on my social media of events and thoughts that occurred in previous years. Recently, pictures from a lock-in twelve years ago were share and one stuck out to me due to the ridiculous nature of the content. This picture contained a dozen sleepy students wrapped in blankets in a church basement hallway. A few of those faces were of kids I had known since they were little and others were teenagers from another church led by a dear friend of mine about a mile south of us. The two groups had bonded during the previous summer at camps.

None of the above description is unique to church lock-ins. The same tableau has been created and recreated over many years and will continue into the future. However, what made this picture stand out was the four large stuffed fish that the students were holding. At some point in the past my friend’s church group had started to carry a large pillow type fish around at Youth events. I cannot remember the inspiration for this fish, but they adopted it as a mascot and our kids loved the idea. So of course we had to get some stuffed fish as well to adorn the youth room at church.

That is how we ended up with a picture of a dozen students and four large fish. I have no idea where those fish ended up. There have been several Youth Ministers and a complete remodel of the Youth area since that picture was taken. Everyone in that picture is now a full fledged adult and working out in the world. At least one of them is now a Youth Minister herself.

We need those touchstones in life. The silly and absurd to remember moments in our lives. It can be a song, a story, or a movie. It can be a restaurant, a school, or a painting. Take all the pictures and post them on your social media so that in future years can you can remember the good and the bad, not just the staged. Grab yourself a large pillow fish and take it with you to see old friends.

Two years after making the decision to leave the church we raised our son in we are finally trying out a new church. This is a church that I am pretty familiar with from my days working with Youth and some people from our old church are already attending. The Senior Pastor is one of our son’s mentors and conducted part of his wedding. We feel comfortable with the structure of the building, there is a wide variety of ages and stages of life in the congregation, and it is just a few miles from our home. After four weeks it feels like a place we can worship and get involved.

One of the things that prevented me from trying church again is the amount of energy I thought it would take just to show up. I am pleased to realize that this church does not need us. It is a vibrant church, mid sized and full of activity. We can show up and then leave without feeling like we are letting anybody down. After close to thirty years of active ministry, what a relief to not feel like I am carrying any responsibility. I know that I will want to get more involved in the future, but knowing that I can pick my pace is healing.

All of this brings me to two Sundays ago when the pastor gave the invitation to join the church. He went into more detail than he had the previous Sundays, so I felt like someone must be planning on joining. He instructed those who wanted to join to come forward at the beginning of the second verse of the closing song. After the first verse, the instrumentalist played an interlude and no one moved. With the first note of the second verse, six people made their way to the front of the congregation. I was shocked that I got choked up. My ears teared up as I watched them join the church. Six people transferred from another church and I was crying?

The next week two more people joined. What a joy to see people finding a church to connect with. With all of the talk of churches dying and the turmoil within our denomination, it brings me hope that people are still gathering to live out their faith in community when it is often easier to watch church online or get brunch. I loved our previous church so much for so many years and I love the people there still. When we realized that we needed to worship elsewhere right before Covid hit, we were not sure where would end up. We now have hope that we can find community again.

One of my favorite ways to spend my time is listening to podcasts. From pop culture and political issues, to current events, the range is vast. I recently stumbled upon a podcast that examines church trauma experienced by church staff or volunteers. The focus of the podcast is primarily Acts 29 churches or those within the Southern Baptist Convention. Growing up United Methodist, it was intriguing to learn about the make up and processes of these churches. The expectations described were so intense and bordered on cultish.

One of the things that shocked me me the most is the inappropriate interest church leaders have in the sex lives of their staff and congregation. I knew that the church cared about adultery and non heterosexual relationships. However, I did not realize that there are entire networks of churches that feel that it is their right and responsibility to dictate how often couples should have sex and the details of those interactions. Never, in all of my years of attending church, has a pastor preached from the pulpit about sex. Nothing about who should or should not be engaging in sex, or how to dress to avoid tempting others.

In the weeks since beginning to listen to the podcast, a lot of things have become clearer for me. There is an entire subset of churches that revolve around sex. They spend much of their energy preventing sex before marriage. Then they spend more energy encouraging sex within marriage. This is why they are so concerned about LGBTQIA individuals and drag shows. Their faith revolves not around Jesus, but around sex.