Eight years ago, I started this blog as a I transitioned out of full time ministry and into a more stay at home type of life. At the time I was not sure what my future would hold. Since then I have said good-bye to my brother and my father. I have watched my son graduation college, get married, move 1500 miles away, start graduate school, graduate again, move home, become a pastor, and start a family. I also started graduate school and graduated with a degree in Administrative Leadership. We moved a few miles down the road into a home that brings contentment. The sidewalks in the neighborhood draw me down to the little pond most mornings to greet the sunrise. The new normal that I had been searching for changes with the seasons. However, the season that we are in right now is possibly the largest change my generation has ever experienced.

After months of whispers about a pandemic threatening to overtake the globe, two weeks ago COVID-19 became a present reality in Oklahoma City. After dinner, we turned on the television to watch the Thunder play the Utah Jazz. The game was starting late and we did a quick Twitter search to see what was going on. We learned that one of the Jazz players was displaying symptoms of COVID-19 and had mocked the threat earlier in the week by carelessly touching the belongings of reporters and teammates. The game was postponed and over 17,000 people were asked to leave the arena. The NBA soon announced that the entire season would also be postponed. The rest of the week was a series of cancellations and postponements of events where large groups of people would gather. The NCAA basketball tournaments, large conferences, concerts, business gatherings were all cancelled or moved to the Fall. Anything involving groups of 250 or more were asked to not gather, which led to many churches going to online services only. Within days, the size of acceptable groups went to 35 and then to 10. A week later, San Francisco became the first city to invoke a “shelter in place” policy.

As a stay mostly at home Kathryn, I put myself into shelter in place after that first weekend. I knew that it was one small way I could do my part to “flatten the curve.” I canceled lunch plans and limited my grocery shopping to once a week. I had actually conducted a quarantine shopping expedition several week previously to stock up on some of our necessities. So with a comfortable supply of groceries, toilet paper, books and streaming services I settled in for a lengthy stay. What I did not anticipate was the return of my anxiety. At this point, anxiety is not a unique experience. People who have never felt much anxiety are having panic attacks. This of us who have a history with anxiety can utilize the management techniques that we have acquired and share them with others. However, keeping anxiety away is probably not possible right now.

My intention for this blog at this time is to share my distractions that are getting me through being “safer at home.” I hope to share the books I am reading, the shows I am watching, and the art I am creating. Since the beginning of self isolation, I have completed eight books that I will review in my next post. Stay safe and wash your hands.

#books #OklahomaCity #saferathome

The first time I remember seeing a “breaking news” banner was around the time that Ronald Reagan was shot. Breaking News was reserved for the type of news that truly impacted a great deal of people and that needed to be communicated quickly. The bright red banner got the attention of the viewer and told us that this was an important announcement. Breaking News in 2019 can include a tweet by the President, a sports figure achieving a new feat, or a celebrity getting married.

My current news viewing habits consist of an hour of local news in the morning to understand the weather and traffic concerns, as well as about fifteen minutes of Good Morning America to hear the headlines. For everyday political news I rely on Beth Silvers and Sarah Stewart Holland from the Pantsuit Politics podcast. They have been on a promotional tour for their new book “I Think You’re Wrong, But I’m Listening” and have appeared on several national shows.

This morning, they were part of a conversation on MSNBC’s The Morning Joe. I recorded the show to allow me to just watch their portion. I had to fast forward on my DVR to their segment and was startled to feel a visceral reaction to the imagery used on The Morning Joe. The color choices and bold fonts made me feel attacked in the same way that Fox News does when I am exposed to it at the gym and doctors offices.

I believe in the power of journalism and support organizations that are truly striving to communicate the news of the day. However, the cable news shows are possibly doing more harm than good. The message is not the issue as much as the delivery of the message. I hope to continue to limit my news consumption as a method of self care. I am not covering my head and denying the reality of the day. Instead, I am carefully selecting a safe means for learning about the events of our society.

As the month of January enters the last week, it is probably a good time to publish my goals for 2019. Goals, or intentions, feel more manageable than resolutions.

There are seven areas where I hope to grow:

1. Create – This is my word for 2019 and my goal is to create in a variety of arenas on a regular basis. Watercolor is a method of painting that has previously frustrated me, but new techniques have contributed to it becoming a type of spiritual discipline that is connecting me with the creator. In addition, I am experimenting with fiber art, beads, and photography. I will share my creations on the blog.
2. Read – As an avid reader, I often read to escape the stresses and worries of the world. This year I intend to invest additional time reading for enrichment. The areas of focus include racial issues, immigration, and spiritual growth. Reviews of the material will be included here.
3. Strength – At fifty-five it is vital for me to maintain my mobility and to increase the flexibility and strength of my muscles. The past two years my activity has focused primarily on walking several miles 3-5 times a week. Weights and increased cardio are the targets this year.
4. Hospitality – Since leaving the workforce in 2011, my circle of community has decreased. My husband gets a full dose of people five days a week at his work and is often content for us to hibernate during the evenings and weekends. This leads to me isolating and feeling lonely. I proposed that we invite a variety of friends to dinner at our home or to join us for dinner throughout the year to balance our needs for community. January has started off strong with renewing old friendships and connecting with some of his coworkers.
5. New restaurants – One of our favorite past times is exploring restaurants. Oklahoma City possesses a variety of local eateries and unique chains and more are coming to the area each month. In January we tried three new restaurants that will be added to our ongoing list.
6. Travel – After spending years taking family trips to visit our parents, we are excited to have the flexibility to explore more locations. In the last ten years we have traveled to Turks and Caicos, New York City, Boston, Florida, the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, Nashville, Memphis, and California. In 2019, our goal is to travel more and have adventures in new locations.
7. Grandparenting – With the impending arrival of our first grandchild, I have set the goal of being present in whatever capacity is available for our granddaughter and her parents. The love I already feel for this little human is uncontainable.

It’s recently come to my attention that there are millions of women in this world that are treated far differently just because they are female. Now, one would think that this would have been apparent to me, but I was raised in a home where I was treated equally in most areas and was raised to believe that I could achieve anything I set my mind to. I had control over my own body and my mind. With the advent of Twitter I am now exposed to the thoughts and ideas of people from many other backgrounds and I am much more aware that my experience is not often the norm. Through reading on Twitter, I discovered an author by the name of Sarah Thebarge and her book The Invisible Girls: A Memoir.

It is always a gamble when I suggest a book for our church book discussion group. The women in the group are of different ages and backgrounds and I do not know all of them well. I do not read the books in advance, so I never really know if the books going to be well written or appropriate. However, I trust that the Holy Spirit is going to lead me to pick the right book for the right time. This book was chosen for our August meeting and seemed to speak to all of the women in a variety of ways.

Thebarge’s memoir weaves together her battle with cancer with her involvement in the lives of a Somalian woman and her daughters. Raised in a fundamental Christian family, Thebarge received very specific messages about being female and what that meant. From what clothes to wear to what subjects to study, her gender shaped her daily life. The most noble goal was for her to stay pure, get married and then procreate. Thebarge knew early on that she was meant for a different path. She was incredibly intelligent and inquisitive and a transformative experience for her parents gave them the courage to let her follow that path. She eventually ended up in the medical profession as a Physician’s Assistant and was pursuing a masters in journalism when she discovered that she had cancer. The agonizing experience of breast cancer would change her life in many ways. Her identity as a woman was challenged when she lost her breast and her ability to reproduce. It was so devastating that she decided to abandon her dream of working in New York City and relocate to Portland, Oregon.

Thebarge found a new life on the west coast. She was just getting settled when she locked eyes with a small Somalian girl on the train. A few smiles were exchanged and a kind touch. It was the type of thing that happens to people dozens of times a year. A cute little interaction that passes in an instant. This time it was different. Thebarge felt a strong nudge to follow up with the child and her family. She obtained the family’s address and decided to visit them at their apartment. She took baby steps into their lives until she became intricately involved. This was a very risky move. The family was living in an environment that wasn’t particularly safe. The father of the girls had abused the mother and they didn’t know where he had run off to. But maybe most risky was the emotional involvement. Thebarge had been disappointed in so many ways during and after her fight with cancer. She had a very fragile heart. She took the leap and was rewarded with such love from the girls and their mother.

After reading about the journey of the invisible girls (Thebarge included), I found myself longing to listen to the nudging that Thebarge responded to. I believe that the Holy Spirit worked in their lives to bring them all together. I wonder how many times I ignore that same nudging because I’d rather be safe and secure than risk getting involved with my neighbor. I pray that in the future I am able to be open to that nudging in an authentic way. I look forward to following the invisible girls as they continue to grow.

There is a multimillion dollar industry built around the idea that every little girl wants to be a princess. There are costumes, parties, movies and toys that fulfill this dream for them. The wedding of Will and Kate that created a new princess drew the attention of the world, as did the birth of the new prince. The pageant industry is so popular that reality shows have flourished. It’s all about the crown. Well, a small group of women in a town in Mississippi solved that quest for a crown by appointing themselves the Sweet Potato Queens of Jackson, Mississippi. Jill Conner Browne chronicles the creation of the queens in The Sweet Potato Queen’s Book of Love. The first in a series of witty collections of stories, The Book of Love is entertaining and an enjoyable read. It took a bit to get engaged in Browne’s tales as she spent the first section with extensive back store on the group’s organizational structure. Once she began the short vignette’s about lifestyle advice I was hooked. My favorite sections were on how to do nothing and the food needed to host a Sweet Potato Queen funeral. The family less Family Reunion idea was full of humor.

The Sweet Potato Queen concept has become a nation wide phenomenon. Groups around the world now celebrate the idea that you do not have to enter a contest or marry a prince to become royalty. You simply have to declare yourself queen and buy a crown. In fact, a real Sweet Potato Queen doesn’t even need the crown, just the attitude. I hope to grasp the healthiest elements of the Queen’s ideals and celebrate the Queen in all of us.

There are few things that make me as happy as a good bar of chocolate. As a child, candy was in short supply and the idea of venturing inside a candy factory seemed heavenly. I so remember that first view of Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. The river of chocolate became a permanent fixture in my memory. Years later I would tour the local Braum’s ice cream factory and when they dipped the frozen ice cream on a stick into the stream of chocolate I went right back to my childhood and the movie Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Julie Dawn Cole’s defining role will always be that of Veruca Salt in that same movie. In her autobiography I Want It Now! a Memoir of Life on the Set of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Cole shares how she went from a childhood of poverty to one of privilege while filming the movie.

Cole went on to have a successful career as an actress and raised two children. However, the role of Veruca will stay with her. The movie opened with great promise, but took years to become the iconic movie that it is now. It wasn’t until the success of the video tape and then later the DVD that this movie really became a mainstay of pop culture. Looking back we can see the ways that this film became a part of our lives. In fact, the image of Gene Wilder as Willie Wonka has it’s own twitter account and meme. The reader of Cole’s memoir finds that the behind the scenes events were as wholesome as the movie itself. There was very little conflict or misbehavior. In this day of child stars playing out their disfunction in the every day glare of modern media, it is refreshing to see Cole and her costars return to a normal life after the movie with varying results. Cole is the only one who remained in the acting profession throughout her life. The others pursue careers ranging from accountant to veterinarian.

Cole’s tag line is reflected in the title of her book – I want it now! She portrayed the role of a little girl of privilege who’s father indulged her every whim. It’s ironic that this very attitude has become the norm for many children and teenagers, especially those in the public eye. The author of the book that the movie is based on, Roald Dahl, foreshadowed this current reality with accuracy. Not only do we want the chocolate and the riches now, we want the fame and attention now as well. Unfortunately for many the now comes too readily and often leads to tragic results. How encouraging to know that Cole was not one of those cases.

The comedy business is a man’s world. Many of the things that a lot of people think are funny are just not very ladylike. Crude language, body parts and smells, pratfalls are all standards in the comedy universe. Women have had to fight to be included as equals. Of course, women are a necessity in sketch comedy, but were often viewed as support, not as the star. Tina Fey entered the business during a time where all of this was changing. She grew up as many comedians do, a bit of an outsider. As an adult she gravitated to Second City in Chicago and found a place in the touring company. It was here that she realized the inequity of the system and fought to establish a balance.

Bossypants is Tina Fey’s account of her success in the competitive comedy business. She became head writer at Saturday Night Live shares a bit of the backstage happenings during that time. 30 Rock started on NBC as a quirky little sitcom without much of a direction. As head writer, producer and star, Fey was instrumental in the ultimate success of the show. She built her family around the business. Few shares much about her struggles as a woman, a wife and a mom. She brings so much humor to all that she does. This was a fun read and having watched 30 Rock over the years it was easy to visualize her expressions as I read. The popular and innovative show has recently ended and Fey’s future in television and film is unknown. However, I’m sure that she will be successful and remain a Bossypants.

Years ago I thoroughly enjoyed a little sitcom called Less Than Perfect. The stars of this show included Sara Rue, Zachary Levi, Andy Dick and Sheri Shepherd. I have followed them since on their various shows, especially Chuck and The View. Sheri Shepherd just shines on the daytime talk show and I was excited to find out she had written a book. Shepherd’s memoir, Permission Slips: Every Woman’s Guide to Giving Herself a Break, details her journey from a legal secretary to comedian to actress to talk show host. Shepherd shares how her childhood shaped her life, especially her family’s involvement with the religious group Jehovah’s Witness. One of the hallmark’s of the group is the idea that the world is ending imminently. Even after she left the group, she adhered to that believe and used it as an excuse to avoid paying bills, including traffic tickets. This eventually landed her in jail for a short time, which changed her life.

Shepherd centers her book around the idea that women put too much pressure on themselves to be perfect and should give themselves permission to let go of some of these expectations. It is a soothing reminder that we need to let go of the past and look towards the future. In this day and age of instant access to information about people, it is interesting to read this book and realize all of the changes that have taken place in her life in the time since writing the book. In the book she seemed reluctant to expect to find true love. Her tales about her young son detailed the troubles he had as a result of his early arrival. She has now found love again with her husband Sal and her son is flourishing. Her success on The View is just part of her successful career and she has written another book about dealing with Diabetes. She has given herself permission to succeed and be happy, no matter the past. A great lesson for all of us.

Tonight at dinner, I ordered a peach cobbler. Not always a fresh peach fan, my husband was a bit surprised that I ordered it. When it came cooked in it’s own little pan, with a scoop of fresh ice cream, I dug in. In a flash, summers from my childhood came to my mind and a film strip of memories played. I remembered my dad stopping at the roadside farmer’s stand and purchasing fresh from the orchard peaches each summer. Then we’d go home and make them into cobbler, or slice them and eat them with ice cream on the back porch.

There are so many foods that stir emotion in me. Most of the people I know have the same experience. One of my friends almost cried when she told me about eating at a local restaurant in her hometown with her current beau and how the memories of her granddad and the many meals shared there with him came to her during that time. But I’ve recently discovered that not everyone is so emotionally tied to food memories. What a joy to find a kindred spirit in Shauna Niequist!

In Niequist’s recent book, Bread & Wine: A Love Letter to Life Around the Table, with Recipes, she shares stories about her life and the ongoing relationship she has with food. She explains her battle with her self image and how her love of food has effected that image. She recounts the food she has enjoyed while traveling around the world. At the end of most stories, she also share a favorite recipe. Throughout this unusual storytelling, Niequist opens up about her relationship with her husband, her family and friends, and the struggle with infertility. She shares the unbridled joy of giving birth to her second son and the accompanying fear that the newborn life arose in her. She ends the book with reflections on communion and the special place that the bread and wine hold in her heart.

This book was chosen for our July book club book at church and the resulting conversation was enlightening. Through discussing the book, we were able to get to know each other better through the tales of our childhood and the food that we remembered. One of the common experiences we discussed was communion and the meaning it has for each of us. We were reminded that this sacrament is to be shared in our faith community. Two very simple foods that hold so much meaning for us all.